The Evil Eye

It seems that after finding a quarter, heads side up, and hoping that maybe it would actually help my luck, the tides seem to be turning in my favor. I don't want to jinx myself, but it seems I am shunning that evil eye that seemed to follow me around, with tears of misfortune.

Since finding that quarter, I won a nice chunk of change at my office holiday party and my name was drawn first in the coveted "Compressed Schedule Lottery" (my name has been drawn last a few times in a row and almost always near the end).

In Middle Eastern cultures, the evil eye is viewed as a way people wish misfortune on you. By simply casting an evil glance they are putting the curse on you to bring you down. I have a Jewish friend who actually gave me a necklace to ward off the evil eye. I am not sure if it actually worked since after I received it I ended up needing a new car... hmmm perhaps she inadvertently made the eye more powerful? She recently took a class on Judaism though and the Rabbi spoke about the Jewish superstition of the evil eye. He said that it is all about attitude. Putting out positive energy into the universe will in turn bring positive energy and vice versa. So, I am now focusing on the positive... instead of the humor I find in the negative.

We will see how it goes... for now it seems to be working. I just hope I am not speaking too soon!

Class vs. Klass

I think the world is slowly trying to redefine the word class. Once upon a time class was used to refer to people or things of high quality and style, like Tiffany's jewelry or a man in a tuxedo. There was a certain air of dignity surrounding people of class. It spoke of timeless elegance and grace In the south there was a bit of charm associated with it.

When did it become acceptable to literally roll out of bed and leave the house? What happened to the days of Carey Grant or Audrey Hepburn? When people seemed to care about how they looked in public and they carried themselves with grace and dignity? When you could actually understand what a person was saying because they weren't using some slang term they heard on the street?

If I didn't love my trash tv and modern technology so much I would say I was born in the wrong time period, but as it is I live in the present day. I think class is slowly and painfully being snubbed out by klass. The Real Housewives of Atlanta ooze klass. Baby shower brawls and a "Ridickulous" stripper at a klassy birthday party. Fighting about who did what to whom before they cashed a Trump Check and are now rich. The inability to properly pronounce the designer labels they spend a fortune to wear. All of this is Klassy to me.  Another lesson on klass: pulling a wig off of someones head would be considered klassy, but throwing a punch while cameras are rolling would not.

I think the Countess said it best when she said Money Can't Buy You Class. What she failed to mention is that it can buy you klass.

Luck

Some people have all the luck. Seriously. They are the ones who win the lottery or the random drawings. They get the free meals and not because they find a hair in their food. They avoided the chicken pox outbreak or the lice infestation in elementary school. They have all the luck and they refuse to share it.

I am not one of those people. I try to avoid the patch of ice only to slip on it anyway and break an ankle or try to see the sights from a roof top only to fall through. I register for drawings and never get chosen. I walk into a fast food restaurant for a late night snack because the drive through line is too long and end up being locked inside with a gang. (They did let us leave, with our food and our lives, so I guess that's something.)

Most people have symptoms of appendicitis or gallstones and seek help. I am not most people. I don't notice something is seriously wrong until I am passing out, alone in my apartment and realize that maybe that random pain in my abdomen is more serious than gas. I am that person that calls an ambulance because I don't want to bother anybody and then get the super hot paramedic whom I can't even try to flirt with because breathing is as excruciating as being stabbed with a million butcher knives. I am one of those people that spends an eternity in an emergency room only hear "We don't know what's wrong with you, other than your abdomen is filled with blood." I guess they don't see a lot of patients with spontaneous internal bleeding.

Things are looking up though. I found a quarter yesterday, heads side up... I am hoping that means it is 25 times MORE lucky than finding a penny. We shall see.

Like Sands Through the Hourglass

There are times when life seems more like something out of a soap opera. One day is as boring as the one before and the next you are knocked out while snooping around a women's prison, your heart is cut out in the prison infirmary, harvested for black market organ sale, and you are left to die, hooked up to a bi-pass machine.... but before your heart can be sold, your renegade heart surgeons are caught, your heart intercepted and then re-implanted  by some hot doctor who just happened to be stopping by. Ok, so that's actually a story line from Days of Our Lives and maybe real life isn't quite so dramatic, but sometimes it can feel that way.

A few years ago I got a call from my mom telling me my aunt had a baby. At the time my aunt was in her early 60's, so imagine my surprise when I heard the news. She went on to tell me that 40 years ago my aunt had gotten pregnant and given the baby up for adoption, only she didn't tell anyone. Years later he decided to search for his birth mother and found her in a little southern town.

I met my long lost cousin just a couple of years ago. He lives not too far from me. Looks just like my aunt. Their story really seems more like it should be on a soap opera... scandalous pregnancy, mom-to-be sent away to hide her secret, returning with an empty heart and empty arms... Her life having been lived out with that secret until one day she gets a knock on her door... "Mom? Is that you? It's me... your son". Dramatic music would begin to play and through tearful apologies she would explain why she had to give him up... she had no choice, but he is here now... and that is all that matters. And if life is like a soap opera they would live somewhat happily ever after.

Cheap Beauty or Pure Torture?

One of favorite websites is Stumbleupon. You choose categories that you are interested in and then you Stumble and random websites are brought up that match your interests. It has opened a whole new world of Internet browsing for me since I have been stuck looking at the same few websites every day when my mind needs a break/distraction at work (I love you People.com but I need to broaden my horizens).

One of my favorite topics is beauty. I love all things make up. I have since I was a little girl and I would watch Days of Our Lives and then lock myself in the bathroom and try to replicate Jennifer Horton's look with my mother's make up. So, I get inspired by new looks and tips that I may Stumble across. The category also brings up skin care and hair ideas as well.

Speaking of skin care, I have come across a cheap alternative to those pore strips you see advertised, the ones that you wet and then put across your nose and let it dry and then rips all the nastiness out of your pores. Twice I have come across this cheap and easy alternative so I decided to give it a try.

It sounds easy enough. All you need is unflavored gelatin and milk, mixed together and heated in the microwave. Once heated you put it on your nose or forehead or wherever you may need it, let it dry and essentially rip it off as it grabs on to any impurities and yanks them right out like those pore strips do. I decided to go the extra mile and put it on my entire face. Could also be a good form of exfoliation?

I mixed the concoction, slathered it all over my face and let it sit for about 15 minutes, until it hardened. Then it was time to remove.  I started at the jaw line, and began ripping as gently as I could.... but there is no way to gently rip the top layer of skin off of your face. It was literally one of the most painful things I have ever experienced, and I have experienced a lot of random, excruciating pain.

When it was all said and done the top layer of skin was gone and my face was bright red, but it was also as soft as a baby's butt. The entire reason for the experiment was to clean out the pores on my nose, which didn't happen, but I think I found a great alternative to a chemical peel, without the chemicals.

If you want to clean out your pores, I say go for the strips you buy in the store. If you want to experience a little bit of torture, but have some super soft skin, go with the "homemade" concoction. Even better, go to a spa and get a facial... same results, a lot less painful.

Camp Joy

"Where counselors die daily"


That's the most remembered quote from Camp Joy. Camp Joy was a free summer camp for kids living in the inner city. I gave up four summers of my life to work there. It was definitely a once in a life time sort of experience. Anyone who has ever traded their summer vacations for a summer of hot humid weather, screaming kids and a paycheck that might buy a few necessities if you were lucky knows exactly what I'm talking about. It is deeply rewarding and trying at the same time.

I wore many different hats during those four summers. My jobs ranged from counselor to kitchen help with first aid thrown in for good measure. Bleach became my favorite cleaning aid and bug spray was my perfume of choice. There was no air conditioning in the remodeled cabins (though they were eventually installed), so we slept with box fans and an open door. I put my box fan in front of the door, my attempt in keeping  racoons out.

The kids, for the most part, were fun. Many of them came from foster homes or had stories of the tough life they were leading. It was truly a priveledge to show them love and attention for a week, something they rarely, if ever, saw at home. There were other kids though who led a more priveleged life. They came to camp because their parents had come to camp years before and it was tradition. The first week of camp, however, was set aside for the church kids. Church kids often meant campers with a sense of entitlement. Always fun to hear the threat "I'm going to tell 'so and so' if 'such and such' doesn't happen". They weren't all that bad. My first week of camp (ever) I was given the joy of having an angel placed in my cabin, an angel in the sense that she was an angel from my own personal hell. I am pretty sure God was trying to test my patience and make me question my decision about working at camp in the first place. To give you an idea of what I was up against, most kids are sent to camp with any medications they may have for allergies or ADHD, but this angel's parents decided that this particular week was the perfect time to see how she did without her medication. Lucky me.

There was no indoor plumbing in the cabins. Bathrooms were in the process of being installed, but at the time the only thing in those extra little rooms was linoleum flooring. The cabins themselves stood at the top of an enormous hill, a small mountain if you will... so tall that the thought of going back up the hill because you forgot something would make you cry. The only available bathrooms were in the gym. In the morning the campers were woken up and we would all go down the mountain and wait for the campers to have their turn in the bathrooms. The biggest rule at camp was for campers and counselors to stay together so a camper wasn't allowed to just go down the mountain and to the restroom by themselves (they had more than one camper try to run away...)
 
My angel did not understand or care about this rule. Every morning she would wake up and try to come up with a reason why she should go ahead of everyone else.... "Miss Bethany, I need to brush my teeth", "Miss Bethany my parents told me to tell you to let me go to the bathroom by myself", "Miss Bethany, I hate you". Always a ray of sunshine. By the end of the week we had both had enough of each other. When Friday morning came she got up and told me she was going to the bathroom. I told her she was, as soon as everyone else was ready to go too. She turned and walked out the door. "Oh, Angel," I said as sugary sweet as I can, "get back in this cabin until I say it is time to go." "But Miss Bethany" she says, "I really need to brush my teeth." "Your teeth can wait 5 minutes." With an evil scowl she walked to her bunk and sat, plotting her revenge.

Five minutes later, when all the beds were made and clothes changed I tell the girls to line up outside. Everyone is there, except the little angel. We wait and wait and she finally emerges, with an evil grin on her face. I wonder what she has done, but I figure the faster we get down the mountain the quicker the day will be over and she will go home. We descend the mountain for the morning rituals of bathroom and breakfast and then go back up the mountain to get everything ready to go home later. Campers would always beat the counselors up the mountain, and when I get to my cabin I am bombarded with exclamations of "Miss Bethany, Miss Bethany... Someone peed in the floor!" Many things start running through my mind... maybe a construction worker couldn't hold it and decided that my cabin was the place to go... maybe a raccoon got in and decided to make use of the unfinished bathroom... maybe all the cups that held the frogs that had been caught and stored in the unfinished bathroom for the upcoming frog race had tipped over, simultaneously, and spilled in the floor. All of these things could have made sense, until I noticed that everyone was up in arms about the puddle except the sweet little angel. She was just sitting on her bunk, with a little smirk on her face that made me want to smack it off. I survey the damage and ask the obvious, "Who peed in the floor?" Every single child in that cabin would deny the allegations except the angel. Her response before I even had a chance to ask her?? "Why is everyone blaming me? I didn't do it. Quit blaming me." Telling?

I asked another counselor to watch my cabin and I walked down the mountain before I had a chance to do anything I might get in trouble for later and told one of the directors about it. They sent someone up to clean the mess and told me they were surprised that I actually got through an entire week with her... she is typically sent home... a triumph I guess but a small consolation considering the week I had endured. She had gotten her revenge I guess... but the jokes on her because I get to blog about her... and if you ask, I may just tell you who she is. :)

30 things by 30

My friend Ashley told me a few years ago that she had a list of random things she wanted to do before she turned 30. She was in her early 20's at the time and had made her list some time before that. I thought it was brilliant. I decided, at 28, that I would make the same sort of list.

Two years doesn't really give one ample time to accomplish 30 random things, things that may otherwise never be done, like swimming with sharks, but I have been fortunate enough to have experienced a few random things on my own that I gathered activities from the past to help pad my list.

To be clear, this isn't a bucket list. I hoped that I would live well beyond my thirtieth birthday. It is more of a list of goals to meet before my next milestone birthday, not before I kick the bucket. Granted, some things on the list could cause me to kick the bucket (swimming with sharks).

Surprisingly, I was able to complete 30 things. Some of them (swimming with sharks) were not accomplished and moved to the list of 10 more things to accomplish before I turn 40. Some of them sounded easy enough, like making the perfect buttermilk biscuit, but in actuality were harder than they seemed.

My list, in no particular order:


1. Go to a NASCAR race
2. Zip line
3. Learn how to knit
4. Visit a foreign country by myself
5. Visit the Statue of Liberty
6. Visit Ellis Island
7. Visit the Empire State Building
8. Go to a Major League Baseball game
9. Play Black Jack in Vegas
10. Attempt to Snow Ski
11. Work at a summer camp
12. Carve a pumpkin
13. Go to a rodeo
14. Go to a county fair
15. Make the perfect buttermilk biscuit
16. Read Gone With the Wind
17. Learn to Water Ski
18. Spend the night in a zoo
19. Learn to play golf
20. Paint a picture
21. Eat a cookie from Neiman Marcus
22. Graduate from college
23. Buy a car
24. Live on my own
25. Eat dinner out by myself
26. Visit Graceland
27. Eat some type of wild game (antelope in this case)
28. Attend the Cornbread Festival
29. Go to a mountain top spa overlooking the sea
30. Become lifeguard certified

The hardest thing on this list was eating dinner out by myself. The easiest was eating a Neiman Marcus chocolate chip cookie. Some of these deserve their own blog posts, so I will be posting them randomly. Make a list! It's fun and trying to accomplish everything before a big birthday is so much less depressing than trying to do them before you die.